Sometimes Hardison's the Oblivious One
by serenelystrange
Summary: Parker/Hardison & a stakeout! But also kind of a teamfic. Fluff and some minor angst. Plus, vaguely protective Eliot makes an appearance. Hope you like! Please review. :D


A/N – I literally have no idea what this was all about. My brain just said, "write!" So I did. Hope you like!

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Stakeouts were boring. So when Parker and Hardison found themselves on yet another boring stakeout, they were both feeling more than a little antsy. But they had the comms in, necessary to keep the others informed, and Parker had a way of not being able to keep quiet, so the fun activities the pair would usually get up to in boring times were out of the question. Frankly, it made them both just that much more antsy.

"Anything interesting?" Nate asked, over the comms, for the millionth time that hour.

Parker just rolled her eyes, refusing to answer again. Hardison sighed and responded to Nate,

"No, boss. Still not a damn thing. No one's been in or out of anything for the past three hours."

Parker snorted, "I'll say." She grinned devilishly at Hardison.

Hardison was stunned into silence for a moment before struggling out a gasp of "Parker!"

Over the comms, they could hear Eliot's laughter and Sophie's quiet giggles, even as she tried to hush Eliot through the comm. Nate said nothing, but they could both picture him pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance as he filled another glass.

Nate finally spoke back up, "Ok, Parker, I'm sorry you're, um, bored. But just a few more hours and then you two can wrap it up."

Parker grinned again, "Oh, I plan to."

Hardison groaned and thumped his head back against the seat. She was going to be the death of him.

Sophie joined Eliot in laughing this time, but cut in to say, "That doesn't even make sense!"

"Don't encourage her," Nate sighed.

"Now, hold on Nate," Eliot interrupted, "I'm curious as to what Parker could mean. Please go on, Parker."

They heard Sophie's soft, "Eliot!" as she scolded him for being cheeky, but this only made Parker laugh as she responded to Eliot, all the while locking eyes with an increasingly hot and bothered Hardison.

"Didn't know you were into voyeurism, Eliot. But if you must know, when Hardison and I get home, I plan to…"

"Parker!" The shout came from Hardison and Nate at the same time, the former embarrassed and the latter annoyed.

Eliot's laugh rang through again, "Relax man, I'm just messin with ya. No way in hell I wanna know about what you two do behind closed doors."

Hardison sighed in relief, but Parker responded seriously, "We don't always close the door."

Hardison just thumped his head again. Where were the bad guys when you needed them?

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An hour later and there was still no activity. Parker had finally stopped talking about their sex life and the comms had gone quiet except for the occasional question by Nate. Hardison and Parker had just settled into a comfortable silence, her head resting on his shoulder, when Parker sat up and turned to Hardison suddenly.

"I need curtains."

Hardison didn't bother hiding his confusion, "What?"

"I. Need. Curtains. For my bedroom." She drew out the words slowly, as if he was the confusing one.

"What's wrong with your curtains? They're pretty. I guess. I don't know, they're curtains."

Parker scowled, "They aren't dark enough. The sun shines through too brightly in the morning."

"Ok," Hardison nodded, "So, get some darker curtains. I'll go with you to pick them out if you want."

Parker nodded absently before continuing, "I like your curtains. They block out light and sound, and they're sturdy."

Hardison shrugged, "Yeah, they're good. We'll get you some of those. They have all sorts of colors too, not just the grey I have."

Parker nodded again, but he could tell she wasn't done, "I like your shower better too. The water pressure is too weak in mine. And yours has that fun bar."

Hardison grinned, "It's a good bar. Hell, I'm sure we can fix your shower. Make it stronger."

Parker paused, clearly struggling with what she wanted to say, "Your bed is better too."

"Only with you in it," Hardison replied, uncaring about how cheesy it sounded or about the fact that the team was most certainly listening, although not commenting.

Parker smiled at him, leaning forward to place an almost chaste kiss on his lips. "Your whole apartment is better than mine. I don't like leaving to go back to mine."

And Hardison finally understood. He smiled back at his girlfriend, "So, don't." She looked at him, question evident in her eyes. "Don't leave," he clarified, "Move in with me. You practically live there anyway. And you know, I have all that empty space, and a really big closet and you already know about the awesome curtains, but..."

He trailed off, suddenly nervous at the look Parker was giving him. He couldn't decipher it. But then she smiled and kissed him again, and he forgot why he was scared to begin with.

"You want me to move in with you?" she asked him, just to be sure.

"Will you stay out of the ceiling?" he asked, teasingly.

Parker laughed, "No."

Hardison rolled his eyes and shrugged, "It was worth a shot. But yeah, I want you to move in with me." He paused and gave her a sheepish look, "I kind of already made you a key. Even though you said you didn't want one."

"I never said I didn't want one," she countered, "I said I didn't need one."

"But…" Hardison trailed, confused.

"I don't need keys to get in anywhere, Hardison." She gave him a look of incredulity, as if it were obvious.

"Oh," Hardison said; his usual rambling mouth speechless for once. "Didn't think of it like that," he laughed.

Parker just kissed him again before settling back on his shoulder as they watched absolutely nothing happen in front of them.

It was a few moments later when they heard a sound over the comms that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle. Followed by a sigh that could only come from Nate.

"Sophie?" Parker questioned, "Are you crying?"

"What did Nate do now?" Eliot interrupted, from his car as he drove back to the office from his part of the job.

"I didn't do anything!" Nate proclaimed, and they swore they could hear his arms going up in defense.

Sophie sighed, "Nate didn't do anything. Today. It was just…" she stopped, embarrassed.

"What's going on, Sophie?" Hardison asked, "We can't see whatever's happening, you know."

She sighed again, but with resignation as she admitted, "You two are just too sweet! And now you're moving in together, and you're both so happy, and I got a little teary eyed, ok? Sue me."

"You're such a girl," Parker snorted, but she was smiling.

They heard the firm thump of a glass setting on a table before the scraping of a chair and the patter of shoes as Nate followed Sophie to wherever she had wandered after her admission.

"Soph," he spoke softly, so softly the comms barely picked it up.

"I'm fine, Nate. Just needed to stretch my legs."

Parker and Hardison exchanged glances, not talking, listening intently. Parker smirked as she heard Eliot's faint growl from wherever he was, knowing he too was listening with interest.

"Soph," they heard Nate say again before his comm fell silent, and the rustling noise a moment later let them know that Sophie had removed hers as well.

"Damn," Hardison grumbled, "I wanted to hear what happened!"

"Same thing as always," Parker laughed, "Sophie will cry a little, Nate will feel bad, but he'll still be drinking, then they'll stare at each other like sad puppies until Sophie walks away, and Nate will watch her leave. And then he'll drink some more. And tomorrow neither one of them will talk about it."

Eliot snorted over the comm, "That about sums it up."

"When did you get so perceptive?" Hardison asked, genuinely curious.

"Don't underestimate me," she responded simply.

Hardison shook his head, "Never."

They fell silent again until Eliot interrupted them again, the sounds of feet hitting stairs in the background.

"What I wanna know is how the hell does Parker know your curtains are sturdy?"

Hardison just groaned in response, thankful this stakeout was at its end.

THE END


End file.
